ME WAKING UP WITH HIGH HOPES
MY BODY: LET'S HIT SNOOZE FOR THREE HOURS!
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WHEN YOUR NEIGHBORS START A PARTY
BUT YOU WERE PLANNING A QUIET EVENING.
ME SCROLLING THROUGH THE DRAMA THREADS
LIKE I'M A JUDGE ON REALITY TV!
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MY PHONE EVERY MORNING:
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'VE WON 100 NOTIFICATIONS!
ME TRYING TO FALL ASLEEP AT MIDNIGHT
BUT MY BRAIN'S ON A ROLL WITH LIFE CHOICES!
SAYING I'LL WORK OUT TOMORROW AGAIN
BUT TOMORROW TURNS INTO NEXT WEEK’S TOMORROW.
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LOOKING AT GYM INSPIRATION POSTS
REALIZING YOU JUST WANT TO SNACK IN BED
WHEN YOU FINALLY GET IN BED AT 10PM
BUT YOUR BRAIN SUDDENLY WANTS TO REHASH 2015!
WHEN YOU REALIZE THE DEADLINE IS TOMORROW
...AND YOU HAVEN'T STARTED YET!
WHEN YOU FIND A BUG AT 2AM...
...AND YOU'RE TOO TIERED TO CARE!
WORKING IN A TEAM LIKE...
...WHEN GIT BLAME IS EVERYONE'S FAV GAME!
SCHEDULED A MEETING TO DISCUSS...
...THAT ONE EMAIL WE ALL IGNORED!
CROWDED GYM IN JANUARY BE LIKE...
...THE ONLY WEIGHTS I LIFT ARE MY ANXIETIES!
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WHEN I TRY TO WORK FROM HOME...
...AND MY PETS TURN INTO CHAOS AGENTS!
WHEN YOUR FLIGHT BOARDING TIME PASSES...
...AND YOU'RE STILL IN THE TERMINAL WAITING!
WHEN YOU SIGN UP FOR ALL THE SUBSCRIPTIONS...
...AND YOUR BANK ACCOUNT FIGHTS BACK!
WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO GAME IN PEACE...
...AND YOUR NEIGHBORS CHOOSE A DANCE PARTY!
THOUGHT I’D ENJOY A QUIET EVENING...
...THEN THE NEIGHBORS DECIDED ON A CONCERT!
NEW YEAR, NEW ME... RIGHT?
STILL CAN'T RESIST THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
REALIZING THE DEADLINE IS TOMORROW...
...AND I'VE ONLY WRITTEN THE TITLE!
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WHEN YOU FORGET TO REPLY...
...AND NOW YOUR PHONE IS A GUILT TRAP!
FINDING THE PERFECT PLAYLIST...
...THEN THE ALGORITHM SUGGESTS KARAOKE COVERS INSTEAD!
SITTING DOWN FOR FAMILY DINNER...
...THAT'S WHEN THE INTERROGATION BEGINS!
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JUST SIGNED UP FOR ANOTHER SUBSCRIPTION...
...THEN REALIZED I’M PAYING FOR A PARADOX OF CHOICE!
WHEN YOU PLAN YOUR STUDY SCHEDULE...
...BUT IT TURNS INTO A MARATHON OF PROCRASTINATION!
WHEN YOU TRY TO MERGE BRANCHES...
...AND END UP WITH A CODE WAR ZONE.
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THINKING I’LL BEAT THE SYSTEM...
...FIVE REMINDERS LATER, HERE I AM PAYING UP.
WHEN I SEE MY DEADLINE APPROACHING...
...IS IT TIME TO FREAK OUT YET?
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WHEN YOU'RE AT THE AIRPORT...
...AND YOUR FLIGHT IS 'DELAYED INDEFINITELY.'
WHEN I'M TRYING TO SLEEP...
...BUT MY BRAIN IS HOSTING AN ALL-NIGHT PARTY.
WHEN YOUR CODE RUNS PERFECTLY...
...BUT THE NEXT DAY, IT DECIDES TO PANIC.
WHEN YOU'RE GAMING PEACEFULLY...
...AND YOUR NEIGHBOR DECIDES TO HOST A CONCERT.
TRYING TO WORK FROM HOME WITH PETS...
...IS JUST A FANCY GAME OF JENGA!
ANOTHER SUBSCRIPTION ADDED TO MY LIST...
...AND MY BANK ACCOUNT IS SCREAMING FOR HELP!
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WHEN YOUR ROOMMATE MAKES A SMALL CHANGE...
...AND NOW YOU'RE SECOND-GUESSING YOUR LIFE CHOICES!
WHEN THE ALGORITHM RECOMMENDS...
...A CABBAGE MOISTURIZER FOR GAMERS!
WHEN YOUR PHONE VIBRATES LIKE CRAZY...
...BUT IT'S JUST THE NOTIFICATIONS WAR!
WHEN THE WEEKEND IS OVER...
...AND MONDAY SHOWS UP LIKE A STERN TEACHER!
WHEN YOU GO ON VACATION...
...AND YOUR PLANTS GIVE YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT!
TRYING TO COOK A SIMPLE DINNER...
...AND NOW I HAVE AN EXPLOSION IN MY KITCHEN!
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THINKING ABOUT MY MORNING COFFEE...
...AND REMEMBERING IT'S 4 PM ALREADY!
When you finally hit 'Order'
And instantly regret every decision